10. You went nuts on the Halloween candy and ballooned to a size 4
9. The guy doing your make-up asks how the fight with Tyson went
8. You're still working on memorizing the word "cheese"
7. Whenever you vogue down a catwalk, it sags and creaks ominously
6. While you're modeling, you notice photographers taking pictures of
5. Instead of DeNiro, you're dating DeLuise
4. Only magazine cover you've ever appeared on: "Ugly Short Guy"
3. Your preferred method of getting down runway: rolling
2. Your *** and a Ford Taurus are roughly the same size
1. Your beauty mark is just spaghetti sauce