A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I would like to live very long. What should I do?"
"I think that is a wise decision," the doctor replies. "Let's see, do you smoke?"
"Well, I enjoy a good cigar."
"Starting NOW, no more smoking." The man agrees.
The doctor then asks, "Do you drink?"
"Yes, I do. I enjoy a glass of wine or beer, and a Vodka Martini and a nightcap..."
"Starting now, you drink only water. No exceptions."
The man is a bit upset, but also agrees.
The doctor asks, "How do you eat?"
"Oh, well, you know, Doc, things I like, meat, pizza, lasagna..."
"Starting now you are going on a very strict diet. You are going to eat only raw vegetables, with no dressing, and non-fat cottage cheese."
The man is now really worried. "Doc, is all this really necessary?"
"Do you want to live long?"
"Yes."
"Well then, it's absolutely necessary. And don't even think of breaking the diet."
The man is quite restless, but the doctor continues, "Do you have sex?"
"Yeah, I'm not young, but I do enjoy having sex regularly with my wife."
"As soon as you get out of here you are going to buy twin beds. No more sex for you. None."
The man is appalled. "Doc... Are you sure I'm going to live longer this way?"
"I have no idea, but whatever you live, I assure you is going to seem like an eternity!"